Literally, the slate is clean. Now what?

I'm staring at a blank screen. 

Yikes, now that's a bit intimidating. It's not like I'm new to this blog thing. I've been actively blogging since 2008 and in my original blog - SendingSmiles I have written over 950 posts about what was happening at the flower shop. But things have changed for me. As of June 30th of this year, we said good bye to our employees and customers (more on that in a future blog, I'm sure) and after almost a month of finalizing the cleanout of the shop, I have more time on my hands then ever. 

Even as I write this, I'm thinking, hurry up, get it done. Not so fast. There's no rush, right? I have the time to be creative, thoughtful and inspiring - well maybe not inspiring. Previously, I knew I had to write a blog (it was good for business) and I had to do it fast so that I could move on to other Flower Shop tasks. Now I'm writing for fun and to share our journey so this will be a completely new mindset for me.  Not one of "hurry up" but "slow down" and enjoy the process because I don't have to do this. I want to do this.  Now that truly is freedom. 

The truth is, I always loved writing blogs. I also dabbled in some creating quite a few helpful videos. I thought I did a great job of giving people good information that was flower related. I mean, flowers can be confusing, right? I had so many lovely comments on how much my videos helped people when they needed it, especially the ones with a wedding theme. How to pick your flowers, what's in season, how to make smart financial floral choices (yes, I said financial). 

And then something happened. I'm going to admit it for probably the first time in print - very publicly. I became bored. Gosh, bored to tears. I was burnt out. I was uninspired and although for over 30 years, my business kept me on my toes, kept me learning, kept me employed but about 3 years ago, it really set in. I did not want to go to work. Although parts of my day were enjoyable, many parts were not.  

Had things changed? Had customers, the world, the flowers or was it me? Did I change? I suspect is was a combination of both but without being negative and putting blame on brides who were demanding and wanting the same boring (blush) Pinterest wedding flowers created over and over (hey, I snuck that negativity in there, didn't I)  I was truly bored. The things that had brought me joy in my business were slowly dwindling. The things that brought me stress were growing and I felt like I had no control. Could it have been because we planned this exit many years ago and I knew the clock was ticking? Certainly, but the truth was that I needed to do something different. Every day was starting to be like the day before and it never felt that way before. It always felt invigorating and new.

So, we've retired!! Are we happy about it? We are. Have we planned anything special to do? Not really because for the first time, in a very long time, we can be wild and free. Ok, maybe not wild but we have the freedom of not being any place in particular at any particular time. So far, that's been a very good feeling.  So there you have it. This is probably going to be most boring and negative post I will make (or at least I hope so) but it sets the stage for what's happening and how our retirement came about. 

Wondering how Kevin and I met and married almost 37 years ago? I'm sure I'll write about that in another post. Wondering if we got along while working together? We did but I can tell you it takes effort to make it work. The good thing about retirement for us is we are going from being together at work all day to being together, not at work. We are hoping that makes it an easier transition. Did I say easy? Well, only time will tell.