Forgiveness

Things for me have been great because other than writing an occasional blog post and watching videos on how to do healing with crystals, I'm feeling fully retired. Kevin, poor guy, not so much. He's been dealing with insurance issues, collecting money (yes, some folks still owed the shop money) and finally getting around to compiling all the documents/records/etc. that our financial advisor has probably wanted from us for the last 6 years. But he has his office (more on that later) and he's been a trooper of keeping everything moving along. 

I'd say for the most part, we have fallen into a great routine of doing things around our house, doing some light traveling and seeing friends (seriously, every single night) which has been great fun. I've also done a little catching up on some doctor appointments - probably more on that later too! I recently had the realization of how truly tired I was because I finally feel well rested.  

Something you might not know about me is that I love Oracle Decks. I probably have 20 sets of them. Each are different and I love the artwork on them.  Also known as "Angel" cards you generally shuffle the cards and ask a question. Each card has a meaning, which some believe give you insight into your question. I believe it helps me to touch base with my intuition, information that I already know but the answer gets sort of stuck. That's what happens when you over think issues instead of feeling them.  

 For me, I usually ask a very general question such as "What do I need to know or keep in mind today" and then depending on how I feel, I'll pull one or more cards. What I  notice is that I will often pull the same message over and over, even from multiple decks, no matter how much I shuffle. For example, I often pull Teaching and Learning and have for years. I sort of know why I pull that because I honestly believe that I'm meant to keep learning and then share my knowledge with others. 

Then retirement finally settled in, after years of hoping and planning, I have time to just be me. Over the last month, I kept getting the "Forgiveness" card. Forgiveness? I truly felt that I held no hard feelings against anyone and could not imagine why I kept getting that card. Who did I need to forgive? This was a mystery but then it hit me and it hit me hard. 

When I was working those 6 day work weeks, I always thought of myself as being lazy. Lazy to go out more often to see family and friends. Too lazy to really do things around the house and not putting as much effort into my business as I should have. I was pretty hard on myself, if you can image that.  Now that I feel rested, I realize that I was beyond spent, I was exhausted...totally depleted. Who did I need to forgive? 

I needed to Forgive myself. For the first time it was clear to me that I was not being lazy, I was doing the absolute best I could and now it was time to Forgive myself for not being perfect and move on. What's even more crazy is that since I had this revelation, I have not once pulled the Forgiveness card. 

The cards solved my problem, helped me to see the solution and in forgiving myself I could move on. Now if can just figure out why I keep pulling the music card, I'll be all set!! Perhaps I have to learn an instrument or join a band? Only time will tell!!